Stuff like cats getting stuck underneath your bed because they are too . . . um . . . "sturdy" to come out again.
Stuff like not being able to wait for your new drawer pulls to come in the mail and using your dresser anyway, so that getting your clothes in the morning takes about twice as long as normal because you have to scrabble on the edges of the drawers and force them open from underneath.
Stuff like your mother moving from priming the ceiling to priming the front hall, which means all the furniture in the front hall is now in the living room and the library. Which means there is ONE carefully constructed path through the most trafficked section of the house that involves an incredibly heavy Chinese brocade armchair, a slightly broken Victorian wicker dining chair, an oil painting of a pine forest in Finland, and a large tupperware container full of Easter decorations.
Just saying.
UPSIDE-DOWN APPLE GINGER BISCUIT CAKE
Initially I wanted to make a Tarte Tatin. It seemed like such a grown up dessert to make, so pretty, so French, so sophisticated. I decided Saturday morning during spinning, however (where I do my best thinking) that attempting to make a pate brisee from scratch at the same time as rolling out cinnamon buns and carving pumpkin soup bowls was possibly a little too much, even for Beetle, and that I would prefer to be at least vaguely poised upon guest arrival, as opposed to weeping, covered in flour, and hating life.
But what to make? The one rule for Weekend Dessert was IT HAD TO BE APPLE-BASED. It's fall, you guys. IT'S TIME. There was a beautiful bowl of Macintosh, Gala, and Jonagolds sitting on the island in the kitchen, crying out to be smothered in sugar and butter and baked until golden and glossy, and who was I, who was I, dear reader, to deny them that? So. Apples. Sugar and Spice. Pretty. Autumnal. Those were the four criteria.
The solution came, as it normally does, during a hill session. APPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE. Perfection! An Apple Upside-Down Cake would a) still have that gorgeous ring of apple slices round the bottom and b) allow me to maintain a shred of culinary sanity. It also had the added bonus of being a decidedly New England-y dessert. If there's one thing the Pilgrims could do apart from accusing people of witchcraft and/or adultery, it was pour a thick, cinnamon-based biscuit batter over apples.
Epicurious.com had about a billion recipes (you think I'm joking, go look it up) but there was one that stuck out like a sweet snaggletooth: Apple Ginger Upside-Down Cake. And I knew that was the one. Because what's better than a melty-buttery-spicy apple cake?
Oh yes. A melty-buttery-spicy apple cake full of crystallised ginger. Duh.
BEETLE NOTES
This is a very good cake. Not too sweet, not too tart. A perfect fall dessert that combines all the happy of the season in a cake pan. It's also (crucial) fast and easy. Honestly peeling the apples took the most time out of all the tasks. Which, as long as you don't slice your hands to ribbons, really isn't that bad. That being said.
THINGS I WILL DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME:
- Overlap the apple slices more tightly. Although you can kind of see the ring of them on the bottom, the biscuit batter squidged its way through and obscured them somewhat. I think if the slices are closer together there will be less batter squidging.
- Mix the crystallised ginger into the biscuit batter itself. The recipe says to coat the bottom of the pan in melted butter, brown sugar, and ginger before laying out your apple. What they fail to mention, however, is that when you bake crystallised ginger in a cake pan, even if that cake pan is ostensibly "nonstick" the sugar will nuclear-harden to the bottom, and you will spend a long time chipping away at with a knife in imminent danger of cutting your finger off.
- Serve it with maple whipped cream. I totally meant to do this (sorry everyone!) but in the excitement of seeing people and opening presents and dancing around doing stupid things, it completely slipped my mind. NEXT TIME.
FYI, I ended up doubling the biscuit batter because the first round I poured over the apples barely coated them. It really doesn't make that much, so be prepared to add more. I also used a springform pan even though it says 9-inch cake pan because it makes inverting it at the end really easy.
So when I don't post for a month, that's why.
NORWEGIAN CINNAMON BUNS
Q: Is there anything nicer than a warm kitchen that smells simultaneously of coffee and cinnamon buns?
A. Absolutely not.
This is a Nigella recipe, from her Domestic Goddess cookbook. She credits a Norwegian friend for it, which just underscores what I've known since I was born: Scandinavians, man. We KNOW our warming comfort food. This is a) because we're awesome and b) because when it's dark for 6 months of the year, SOMETHING has to get you out of bed in the morning.
These, I feel certain, do the trick.
INGREDIENTS
Combine the flour, sugar, salt, and yeast in a large bowl. Melt the butter and whisk it into milk and eggs, then stir it into the flour mixture. Mix to combine and then knead the dough either by hand or using the dough hook of a food mixer until its smooth and springy. Form into a ball, place in an oiled bowl, cover with clingfilm and leave it to rise for about 25 minutes.
Take one-third of the dough and roll it or stretch it to fit your tin; this will form the bottom of each bun when it has cooked. Roll out the rest of the dough on a lightly floured surface, aiming to get a rectangle of roughly 10 x 20 inches.
Mix the filling ingredients in a small bowl and then spread the rectangle with the buttery cinnamon mixture. Try to get even coverage on the whole of the dough. Roll it up from the longest side until you have a giant sausage. Cut the roll into 3/4 inch slices which should make about 20 rounds.
Sit the rounds in lines on top of the dough in the tin, swirly cut-side up. Don’t worry if they don’t fit snugly together as they will swell and become puffy when they prove. Brush them with egg and then let them rise again for about 15 minutes to let them get duly puffy.
Put in the hot oven and cook for 20-25 minutes, by which time the buns will have risen and will be golden-brown in colour. Don’t worry if they catch in places. Remove them from the tin and leave to cool slightly on a rack – it’s easy just to pick up the whole sheet of parchment and transfer them like that – before letting people tear them off, to eat warm.
BEETLE NOTES
You mean, Beetle Notes APART from oh my holy hell these are amazing?
Well. Yes.
Be prepared to add more flour to your dough before the initial rising period. I ended up adding between 3/4 and a cup more by hand just to get it out of the mixing bowl. Next time I'll add it at the outset and let my dough hook do the rest.
The recipe says to take 1/3 of the dough and stretch it out along the bottom of the pan. I did not do this. I rolled out ALL the dough and spread it with cinnamon sugar. I'm sure I'm wrong and Nigella knows best, but it just seemed like a doughy bottom would take away from the cinnamon bun itself, and that mine would end up lumpy and thick in some places and thin in others because I would inevitably mess it up.
Also, I just wrote "doughy bottom" completely un-ironically. SEE? I REALLY AM 30.
I think because of this, and because mine were definitely thicker buns than 3/4 of an inch (see above, what can I say, go big or go home) my cinnamon-sugar to dough ratio was a bit low. That is to say, the buns came out as sweet rolls with cinnamon-sugar as opposed to "cinnamon buns." Which. Not the worst thing in the world.
NORWEGIAN CINNAMON BUNS
Q: Is there anything nicer than a warm kitchen that smells simultaneously of coffee and cinnamon buns?
A. Absolutely not.
This is a Nigella recipe, from her Domestic Goddess cookbook. She credits a Norwegian friend for it, which just underscores what I've known since I was born: Scandinavians, man. We KNOW our warming comfort food. This is a) because we're awesome and b) because when it's dark for 6 months of the year, SOMETHING has to get you out of bed in the morning.
These, I feel certain, do the trick.
- 4 cups flour
- 1/3 cup sugar
- 1/2 tsp salt
- scant 3 tbs yeast
- scant 1/2 cup (one stick) butter
- 1 2/3 cups milk
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 cup plus 2 tbs soft butter
- 1/2 cup plus 2 tbs sugar
- 1 1/2 tsp cinnamon
- 1 egg, beaten, for glaze
Combine the flour, sugar, salt, and yeast in a large bowl. Melt the butter and whisk it into milk and eggs, then stir it into the flour mixture. Mix to combine and then knead the dough either by hand or using the dough hook of a food mixer until its smooth and springy. Form into a ball, place in an oiled bowl, cover with clingfilm and leave it to rise for about 25 minutes.
Take one-third of the dough and roll it or stretch it to fit your tin; this will form the bottom of each bun when it has cooked. Roll out the rest of the dough on a lightly floured surface, aiming to get a rectangle of roughly 10 x 20 inches.
Sit the rounds in lines on top of the dough in the tin, swirly cut-side up. Don’t worry if they don’t fit snugly together as they will swell and become puffy when they prove. Brush them with egg and then let them rise again for about 15 minutes to let them get duly puffy.
Put in the hot oven and cook for 20-25 minutes, by which time the buns will have risen and will be golden-brown in colour. Don’t worry if they catch in places. Remove them from the tin and leave to cool slightly on a rack – it’s easy just to pick up the whole sheet of parchment and transfer them like that – before letting people tear them off, to eat warm.
BEETLE NOTES
You mean, Beetle Notes APART from oh my holy hell these are amazing?
Well. Yes.
Be prepared to add more flour to your dough before the initial rising period. I ended up adding between 3/4 and a cup more by hand just to get it out of the mixing bowl. Next time I'll add it at the outset and let my dough hook do the rest.
 |
| My blank dough canvas. Ready to become a masterpiece. |
The recipe says to take 1/3 of the dough and stretch it out along the bottom of the pan. I did not do this. I rolled out ALL the dough and spread it with cinnamon sugar. I'm sure I'm wrong and Nigella knows best, but it just seemed like a doughy bottom would take away from the cinnamon bun itself, and that mine would end up lumpy and thick in some places and thin in others because I would inevitably mess it up.
Also, I just wrote "doughy bottom" completely un-ironically. SEE? I REALLY AM 30.
I think because of this, and because mine were definitely thicker buns than 3/4 of an inch (see above, what can I say, go big or go home) my cinnamon-sugar to dough ratio was a bit low. That is to say, the buns came out as sweet rolls with cinnamon-sugar as opposed to "cinnamon buns." Which. Not the worst thing in the world.
I will likely double the filling next time, but according to all who tasted them, if that was all they could eat for the rest of their lives, they would die happy. Fat, but happy.
These went down like a house on fire. Like a delicious smelling house on fire.
Since even WE couldn't finish the entire pan in one morning (which is saying something) I will add that these keep really well in a covered pan, and that breaking one (or two. or three.) off and putting it in a low oven for a few minutes gets them all gooey and warm again, ready to be served in a civilised manner. Or, you know, inhaled standing up before the oven door even closes. Your choice.
And so, dear reader, thus ends BIRTHDAY. Which isn't to say that the rest of this month won't be filled with celebrations (um, Halloween anyone?) and cavorting in leaf piles and carving pumpkins and generally behaving like Sarah Jessica Parker in Hocus Pocus.
Like this:
Hey, at least it will keep me warm.
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