THE ALL-CAPS POST TITLE I'VE BEEN WAITING TO POST FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE ETERNITY

BEETLE GOT A JOB!!!!!!!

[insert every happy dance known to mankind]

[although, if you want to go by my actual reaction to this momentous news, insert staring through the porch screen at the rain as the news is delivered to me, hanging up, continuing to stare at the rain without moving for about five minutes, going into the kitchen and staring at the rain through the windows in there, going into the dining room and staring at the rain through the windows in there, looking up when Mum comes in the room and says "WELL?", responding "I got a job and they want me to start next week", and promptly bursting into hysterical, rib-breaking sobs]

So. Yeah.

BEETLE GOT A JOB!!!!!

I'm also in Vermont. I also own a Subaru. A dark green Subaru. A 2014 dark green Subaru Outback. A 2014 dark green Subaru Outback named Madame Vastra.

Madame Vastra, a Silurian, also the head of the detective agency known as the Paternoster Gang.
Did I mention I'm a Doctor Who fan? 

Madame Vastra keeps me safe, warm, transported to places, and she is the best thing ever.

So to recap. In the last two weeks I got a job, bought a Subaru, moved to Vermont, and am now teaching four sections of English and acting as a dorm proctor at St. Johnsbury Academy.

Nothing like ripping the bandaid off, huh?

So. I would love to give you an exhaustive recap, but honestly, dear reader, the mental floodgates are BEYOND overwhelmed, and I couldn't even form a coherent sentence until Friday when the final bell rang. (We have BELLS, btw, CLASS BELLS. They're awesome.) And walking back up the hill to my house (we have HILLS, btw, LOTS OF HILLS) I was able to say, in response to Mom's millionth request for information, "I really like it . . . " and trail off with a stupid grin on my face.

[Ok, maybe insert another proper happy dance here, if you must. Perhaps similar to the triumphant one I did after successfully wrapping teflon tape around the screw threads of my new shower head and effectively stopping the drip, which was kind of a funky-chicken-will-and-grace-iggy-azalea mashup, only in my underwear.]

So for the time being, I will busy myself with the final two Beetle Bakery creations, and hope they will serve as a temporary farewell of sorts. I will hopefully be posting happy kitchen things when I go home for weekends (which will happen frequently as Mum and the farm aren't too far away and also there is NO WAY she is mantaining the proper organisation of the house and the mere thought of what is happening to the towels, dishes, newspapers, etc, makes me itch) and holidays (don't think I haven't started thinking about Thanksgiving), and you can see them then.

SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO.

Oh Good God I don't even know where to START with all of this. It just so happens that the weekend before jobgate happened was an EPIC BEETLE WEEKEND in which so many delicious and photogenic things were made . . . WHICH WOULD BE THE CASE, OBVIOUSLY. Mum was away on the Cape being glamourous and I was at home, cooking and pottering about and binge-watching Masterpiece Theatre. And the weekend AFTER jobgate but BEFORE the move was also visitor-weekend, so MORE food was made, and then at the same time Beetle Bakery had a COMMISSION so MORE baking was done, and then of course I couldn't let my lovely, lovely, BEYOND LOVELY librarians go without a thank you cake, either, now could I? No, of course not. SO. Between jobgate and moving, approx. two weeks  . . .

I made:

• CREAM CHEESE POUND CAKE which the FIRST time was a disaster of epic, sweary-trash-dumping proportions but the SECOND TIME was delicious and crunchy on the outside, gooey on the inside, in the way that only Southern Living magazine can do. (also only in the south would they use THAT. MUCH. CREAM. CHEESE.)

•  LEMON DILL POTATOES with gorgeous Blue Potatoes from our farmstand, that Mum has requested in perpetuity until she dies.

• ORANGE MARMALADE BREAD PUDDING from my new Williams Sonoma Dessert of the Day cookbook which has a recipe for every day of the year on a calendar. Beetle Note: if you are OCPD like me, this can cause stress if you make a dessert for say, Nov. 14th, on August 10th. I did it, but I wasn't super happy about it. 

• LEMON SHORTBREAD which really needs no explanation.

And finally, best for last I think: 

• RASPBERRY FUDGE CAKE of which I am particularly proud, dear reader. Because I assumed that the only way to make Martha Stewart's Fudge Brownie Cake better was to add a jar of Raspberry Jam to it, and then split the batter into two 9-inch springforms, and bake it juuuuust enough to be gooey but still thin so not overwhelming  . . .  and I assumed RIGHT. 
• HOW ABOUT THAT? EMPLOYED AND RIGHT ABOUT A CHOCOLATE CAKE. MY LIFE HAS PURPOSE YET AGAIN.
• And also, because I bought the coolest stencils in the universe, and I was stress-baking like you wouldn't BELIEVE I did fancy things with powdered sugar and acetate which made me incredibly happy.

• So that was Raspberry Fudge Cake no. 1. That was the Beetle Bakery Commission Cake (along with the Shortbread) 
• Raspberry Fudge Cake no. 2 was for the Librarians. My lovely lovely lovely librarians. 
• It was also for Mum. Who, upon tasting, became rather possessive.
• I have sworn faithfully that this is the first thing I will bake when I'm home in a few weeks. MUM. I'M TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW. I PROMISE.
• It took a lot of stencil finagling, including a custom made one, but it was SO worth it.

Because THIS HAPPENED:

It truly was, and is, dear reader, a CAKE OF TRIUMPH. Of recipe experimentation, of stencil creation, and of your own Beetle.

ps custom Beetle stencil = BESPOKE BEETLE OMG I LOVE IT

So. To recap. I'm employed. I'm in Vermont. I spent the day doing vocab sheets. (and this, duh) When I go to dinner in a few minutes I will check on Madame Vastra in the driveway of my dorm. I will then sit with a group of delightful young ladies and discuss their hike this afternoon, the photos of Ariana Grande and Jennifer Lawrence that were leaked this morning, that we won the football game on Saturday afternoon, and how the Chinese food from down the street is preferable to the stirfry on offer.

I'm terrified. I'm ecstatic. I'm beyond overwhelmed.

But I'm doing it. And I'm going to love it.

So for the moment, dear, dear Reader,