OMG HELLO and also FRUITCAKE MADE AWESOME

OH DEAR READER WHAT A BIG FEW DAYS IT HAS BEEN.

THINGS I HAVE DONE SINCE MONDAY THAT CAN BE CLASSIFIED AS "BIG THINGS"

• Moved into faculty housing.
• Written ACTUAL UNITS OF STUDY with BULLET POINTS and CURRICULUM TIE INS and WRITING ASSIGNMENTS.
• Scheduled field trips for large groups of students who are actually "MY students."
• Planned PREPARATORY LESSONS for said field trips with CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES and GROUP PROJECTS.
• MET 14 OF MY NEW STUDENTS STUDENTS FOR WHOSE INTELLECTUAL WELLBEING I AM NOW RESPONSIBLE.

You guys. 

THIS IS HUGE. 

This is kind of what I'm doing right now:

This is what I did all afternoon every time one of my girls showed up.
14 times, you guys.
14 times. 

Without gushing too much I will just say that having known them for only a short while, they are all the raddest, most amazing, most WONDERFUL TEENAGERS IN THE UNIVERSE and I can't really deal with how perfect everything is all of a sudden. [see above] 

OTHER THINGS I HAVE DONE SINCE MONDAY THAT ARE NOT "BIG THINGS" BUT STILL NOTEWORTHY

• Been to Lake George
• Google mapped a truly fantastically beautiful run on the first try. [waggles horns]
• Made besties with the campus security so that when I buzz the gym door at 4am they let me in without even asking who it is, and who have given me special inside access to the gym circuit breakers so that I can turn the lights on in the spin studio a solid two hours before they "open" it. [waggles horns again]
• Been to Target TWICE
• Not gotten a sunburn even though OMG YOU GUYS ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THIS HEAT AND BLINDING SUN I CAN'T DEAL ANYMORE.
• Realised, without a shadow of a doubt this time, that I've passed through Middle Age Town without actually being aware of being in it in the first place, and gone directly to Old Lady City. Where I now will now reside. In perpetuity. 

Allow me to elaborate.

I was stretching in the spin studio, and there was an adorbs girl in there too who was part of the traditional summer camp the school runs concurrently to my programme. She'd hooked up her iphone to the sound system, so for 10 minutes our workout playlists were competing.

You guys, you are officially a permanent resident of Old Lady City (and possibly chairman of the Town Planning Commission) when Peter Day's World of Business' discussion of the upholding of Barclay's $450 million fine for electricity price manipulation is competing with the chorus of Taylor Swift's I Knew You Were Trouble.

Allow me to elaborate again.

This is what I was listening to. 

This is Taylor Swift.

So in summation, dear reader. I'm FREAKING OUT with excitement and happiness at how amazing this summer is going to finish up. I'm not going to get skin cancer. I have new running shorts that are bright green with mesh lace inserts on the side. And I am old old old old OLD. 

I must also tell you that I will absolutely post pictures of this campus (which is maybe really Hogwarts in disguise?) with owls and gargoyles and everything, and also of our faculty house which has A BRIDGE THAT YOU HAVE TO WALK OVER TO GET TO THE FRONT DOOR. A PROPER STONE BRIDGE. THAT MIGHT ALSO HAVE A TROLL UNDERNEATH IT. 

Fantasy Princess excited. Not to be confused with Teacher Excited. 

Now switching gears entirely . . . 

OBVIOUSLY I would not be a good Beetle if I neglected you in the department of "food" and "the part where I make fun of Mum and she is good naturedly resigned about it." 

So in brief, and since I'm CLEARLY on a bullet point kick:

BEETLE AND MUM WEEKEND OF AWESOME IN WILLIAMSTOWN ON THE WAY TO TROY, NY

• The suspension on the car rides pretty low because of the roughly 500 pounds of Bran Crispbread in the trunk, all of which I will eat over the next four weeks.
• I consume an unhealthy amount of veggie sushi.
• I buy Mum socks with glow-in-the-dark constellations on them.
• I buy 10 new books even though I packed 15 plus my Nook plus my new Windows 8 Nook App plus the school has a huge library.
• We watch American Girl: Saige Paints the Sky on NBC in the hotel room. In our pajamas. Eating chocolate chip cookies (her) and cinnamon oatmeal (me). 
• I google map another fantastically beautiful run on a street called Bee Hill Road that, I swear to GOD, was actually in Hobbiton.
• Given the above, I have an early morning running fantasy where I am Bilbo, Merry, Pippen, Arwen, Galadriel, Marianne Dashwood, Ronia the Robbers' Daughter, and Katniss Everdeen all at the same time. Which is to say . . . AWESOME. 
• Trash talk the hell out of Williams because . . . WELLESLEY. THAT'S WHY. 

That's right.

And DUH I would never leave for four weeks without first baking for my Lovely Librarians, and also cooking literally the entire contents of our fridge for Mum so that she doesn't exist on bread and cheese for the next 60 days. 

First up, dear reader, will be the easiest, bestest, most adaptable-to-any-situation baked good in the HISTORY of said baked goods. 

FRUITCAKE BLONDIES 

BECAUSE "CHOCK FULL BLONDIE SQUARES" DOESN'T SOUND NEARLY AS COOL

Taken from Epicurious.com and adapted because . . . see above. 

It's like a Red Sea of Blondie Awesomeness.

Obvs I wanted to give my Lovely Librarians something so that they wouldn't revolt and leave me whilst I was gone, and obvs I was in the midst of packing literally an entire case of Norwegian Crispbread into the trunk of the car, and also OCD packing my beauty products into separate storage boxes labeled "for use in bathroom" and "for use on dressing table." That being said, this is the perfect solution to that, admittedly rare, problem.

The recipe calls for cherries, and two kinds of raisins, and almonds, and chocolate chips. I had cranberries, and one kind of raisins, and hazelnuts, and chocolate chips. And you know what, IT DIDN'T MATTER. 

This is what "NOT MATTERING" looks like.

All I have to say about this recipe is: 

1. Make it. Tonight, if possible. 

2. Throw in whatever you have in your kitchen. It will work. 

3. Prepare yourself. 

Now if I can just get Mum to differentiate between "brownie" and "blondie" we'll be good.
Because calling them "Blondie brownies" is a paradox of epic culinary proportions.

But baby steps you guys, baby steps. 

Beetle Note: It says at the bottom to "serve with eggnog ice cream" but let's get real here. If for any reason you feel like these aren't decadent ENOUGH, or after consuming one you are left feeling anything other than replete, then let's be honest and say that we're working with a larger overarching issue here and you should probably get that checked out. And maybe pick up some insulin on the way. 

One of the best recommendations I got from a LL was that a SINGLE ONE of these puppies had gotten her through the Brimfield Antiques Market. THE ENTIRE THING.

I mean.

I feel like, given that rating, I should send a box to the Navy Seals for their endurance training days.

ooooooooooo OMG you guys THAT's how Beetle is going to meet her future awesome husband who has a 12-pack and can build a solar panel out of a pine cone. 

FRUITCAKE BLONDIE MEET CUTE, YOU GUYS. 

FRUITCAKE BLONDIE MEET CUTE.