Porch Supper [subhead] Holy Hell It's Summer

Actually there are a few options for [subhead] for this post. Here are some of them.

[subhead] In Which I Get Trapped in Norfolk Virginia
[subhead] In Which I Lose my Sh*t in the Norfolk Airport, Proving I Am a Massive Baby
[subhead] In Which a "Beetle Airport Supper" is Revealed
[subhead] In Which I Eat Room Service and Watch Harry Potter
[subhead] In Which the Baked Bean I Sacrificed Last Week Worked Too Well
[subhead] In Which the Space Heater Still in My Bedroom Becomes Laughably Redundant
[subhead] In Which Ralph our Household Guardian Comes to Dinner

Also. I'm back! Sorry for the radio silence, dear reader. I realise this is a very ironic statement because I'm probably the only one who missed me on here. But for the two people that are reading this, for the record I did feel a sense of guilt/obligation in my lack of posting. I apologise. I am about to provide an excuse that I hope will prove acceptable.

So as you may have guessed from the subheads above, I was in Norfolk, VA for a quick visit from Wednesday to Friday. It was supposed to be just Wednesday to Thursday, quick overnight, direct flight, easy peasy lemon squeezy. Everything was going so well you guys. I didn't check a bag (having purchased TSA-approved 3 oz. containers at Target the weekend before and filling them with my beauty products because even though it's only one night that's no reason to neglect your skin care regimen you guys every day counts so that I could bring just a carry on and I also even followed the TSA 3-1-1 rule and put all said 3 oz. containers in a 1 quart ziploc bag and put the 1 allowed bag in my carry on.) and I was seriously like that "Business Pro" guy in the National Car commercial that's narrated by Patrick Stewart for some reason that laughs at everyone falling over taking off their shoes, etc. It was awesome.

So Thursday night I've checked in on my phone, gone through security (see above re: awesomeness), and am happily foraging for a Beetle Airport Supper. I have once before explained "Beetle Friendly" so won't bore you unless you really want to read it through. Going off of that, airports are not the easiest places in the world. I present, dear reader:

Beetle Airport Supper

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1/2 package bran crispbread (brought from home)

1 full package 5 grain crispbread (brought from home)

1 package Snyders Old Fashioned Pretzels

2 Apple Cinnamon Harvest Power Bars

1 package dried Apricots

Vitamin Water 

Tea (brought from home)

I'll give you a minute with that. 

I'm early enough that they haven't even posted the Boston flight yet at the gate. So I'm all ready to sit down with an hour and a half to kill, eat supper, drink tea, reading Country Living UK and fly home in serenity and comfort. And all Happy Beetle I go up to the desk and say "Excuse me I just wanted to confirm that this is the gate for the Boston flight that leaves at 7.29 pm?"

Long story short, this is how the conversation happened:

Delta Woman: It's cancelled.
Me: No, the Boston flight. The one at 7.30.
DW: It's cancelled.
Me: No, the Boston flight.
DW: 
Me: What do you mean cancelled?
DW: blah blah weather system blah blah your life is over
Me: ..............
Me: Well what do I do now?
DW: 

So, dear reader. Long story short. There was no way of getting out that night. I confirmed and reconfirmed that NOTHING was going out and there was no point in waiting and I might as well just suck it up and take the 6.30am the next morning. At which point I walked twenty feet away from the booking desk, called Mum, and lost. my. sh*t.

Yep. I'm a baby. A big big big baby. I blubbered you guys. Blubbered. I blubbered and simultaneously dropped about 20 f-bombs in full view of pretty much all of Terminal B. It was not my finest moment. I'm able to withstand a lot, probably more than most people. But there are three things that will make me break down into a shuddering, sobbing, snotty, hysterical wreck: snakes, car breakdowns or fender benders, and flight delays or cancellations. Hence.

After crying for a while, and getting a "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER" bum kick from Mum, I went downstairs, called the hotel, got in the shuttle, got a room, took a shower, ordered room service, and spent the next two hours on my bed comfort eating and watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1.
[Beetle Note: room service consisted of a massive garden salad, no dressing, extra tomatoes, which was consumed in its entirety along with the rest of the aforementioned Beetle Airport Supper. Comfort eating indeed. Harry Potter and salted carbohydrates make almost everything better.]

And that, dear reader, is the story of why I didn't post for a few days and why I can't go back to Norfolk for a while because I think I might be on their watchlist.

When I landed at Logan, I found that we had bypassed spring and gone directly to "summer hell." It's HOT you guys. Like, break a sweat vacuuming hot. (That happened.) I'm sincerely hoping that this breaks soon and we go back to bearableness but in the meantime I dug out all my summer nightgowns and am now flitting around the house looking like an extra from a lingerie scene in Mad Men. As long as there are no workmen here, we're all good.

ANYWAY. Ralph our household guardian came to dinner last night and we had our first Porch Supper of the season. Since he is the one who redid the porch it made sense that he should be the first to appreciate its newfound charm. So here we go.

INAUGURAL PORCH SUPPER

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Purple Potatoes with Sea Salt and Fresh Dill

Spinach and Kale Salad with Olive Oil and Lemon

Herbed Cod wrapped in Puff Pastry

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7 Grain Bread, Näkkileipä, Cheese, Dates, Nuts

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Rhubarb, Peach, and Apricot Five-Grain Crumble 

The two salads are easy and can be served hot, room temp, or cold. The Purple Potatoes came about because of this article in the New York Times. It basically reminded me how much better "real" food is, but also scared the crap out of me because you like to think you are healthy and nutrient-minded, and then you read something like this and go "oh. never mind." So we stocked up on Purple Potatoes which are beautiful and delicious and holy hell have SO MUCH MORE GOOD STUFF IN THEM than regular potatoes. In fact, this entire paragraph can be summed up thusly: 

Check. It. OUT. Cutest thing ever right? It's a HEART POTATO.
I HEART POTATOES, THEORETICALLY AND VISUALLY.
And you better BELIEVE I ate that sucker. It was delicious. 

Purple Potatoes with Dill

Halve the potatoes and steam until tender (cook them enough, don't make me smack you). Pour into a serving dish and toss with olive oil, sea salt, and a lot a lot a lot of fresh dill. Done. 

Spinach and Kale Salad

Preeeetttty much the same as above, except Spinach and Kale steam in about three minutes. Toss them together in a serving dish with olive oil, salt, and lemon juice. Adjust for your own taste. And throw in some herbs if you want, go nuts. 

[Beetle note: Remember that both of these will steam down to almost nothing. So if you're preparing a set amount of food, be prepared that what looked like 6 portions of spinach will steam to what looks like 2.]

Herbed Cod wrapped in Puff Pastry

I used frozen puff pastry for this [bows Beetle horns in shame]. Line a baking sheet with tinfoil followed by parchment paper. Defrost the pastry and when it's malleable roll/stretch/cut it into four rectangles. Coat the rectangles with a little bit of olive oil and place a fillet at an angle on each one. Drizzle the fillets with a bit more olive oil, fresh herbs (I used dill), and salt, and wrap the pastry around so it makes a little parcel. Bake in a 450 degree oven for about 15 minutes, until the pastry is browned around the edges and the fish is clearly done. It will be a bit longer cook time than a normal fillet, obvs.

RHUBARB, PEACH, AND APRICOT FIVE-GRAIN CRUMBLE

So I invented this based on what we had in the kitchen and the basic recipe for a Fruit Crumble. Also, YAY IT'S RHUBARB SEASON AGAIN. 

• Five stalks Rhubarb, cut into one-inch pieces
• 2 cups Five-Grain Hot Cereal (substitute for oatmeal or anything you see fit)
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp nutmeg
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 1/4 cups Peach Apricot Jam
• 8 tbs (1 stick) melted butter

Combine the cereal, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt in a small bowl. In your baking dish, toss that together with the rhubarb until evenly coated. 

Stir in the jam, then the melted butter, making sure everything is covered. 

Bake at 375 degrees for 1 hour, until rhubarb is soft and tender.

Before adding the wet ingredients.

Just before baking.

Baked Awesomeness.

[Beetle Note: I learned this from a Maine cookbook once, if you cut the rhubarb into really small pieces, it will cook down to shapelessness in the oven. Hence the one-inch stipulation.]

So it's a bobo recipe. It's slapdash and thrown together, and classic Beetle. But there's no added sugar, just what's in the jam, so that's something. And if you like your fruit crumbles tart, this one's for you. If you wanted to add a bit of sugar and sweeten it up, that would be just fine. I won't tell anyone.

Mum loved it, for the record. 

She's having it tonight for dessert with whipped cream. Rah. 

So that's my excuse for neglecting you, dear reader. I hope I've grovelled enough in photographic form to get back in your good books. 

A fun final note is that there was just the most ENORMOUS clap of thunder here. Which means RAIN. Which means COOLER WEATHER. Which means Happy Beetle. Yay. 

Happy Saturday, everyone!