Three things that are ginger and go CRUNCH

The decision of what to bake yesterday was reached in a manner very similar to a Chose Your Own Adventure novel. Remember those? They were awesome. Mind you, my one outstanding skill in reading those was that I could ALWAYS always always pick the option that made you die fastest. I don't know how I did it. It could be the most innocuous decision, like "do you take the bus or the train?" and I would take the train, and the train would derail and explode and I'd die, or "do you chose chocolate or vanilla ice cream?" and I'd chose chocolate, and then suddenly realise that I had a life-threatening allergy to chocolate and go into anaphylaxis and die.

After a while, like a fat kid who learns to make fun of his size so that people are laughing "with" him instead of "at" him, I would play a game with the books to see just how fast I could die. I would happily throw myself down the abandoned mine shafts, get into the car with the random guy in a ski mask, chose the fork in the road that had a giant NO ENTRY sign over it.

All of this proves that I would probably be the worst teen adventurer of all time. I would not only die seconds after the nice old lady had asked me to look for her missing parrot, I would also totally not be ok with being chased in a car, receiving threatening letters, or sneaking through the woods to eavesdrop on gangster hideouts. Really, I would not be ok with getting dirty, sweaty, in danger, or roughing it in any way. I would suck. I would definitely leave it to Nancy Drew, and have her tell me all about it later over a nice cup of tea in her warm, clean, River Heights living room.

So baking.

Option A. My first choice of baked good was a Lemon Curd Slice. (yes, still on the Donna Hay droolfest) It's summery and bright, and a much-needed kitchen-palate cleanser after last weekend. HOWEVER. Upon opening the fridge, I realised we had two too few eggs, and not nearly as many lemons as I thought we had (damn you, mother, and your obsession with lemon on fish). So. That was out. I chose Option B.

Option B. I remembered that Beatrice had a recipe for Lingonberry Jam Cake that I had faithfully promised to make a few months ago. Upon rushing to the living room and opening the cookbook, however, I realised that we didn't have any sour cream. Boo. We also have no cinnamon, which unfortunately means that my consumption of cinnamon oatmeal has reached the stage that psychologists label "interfering with social relationships." Bottom line, that was out. I chose Option C.

Option C. Going back to the original Lemon Curd Slice recipe, I glanced at the one below it: a Ginger Slice. Now, obviously Lemon followed the "summer dessert" rationale, and on Monday and Tuesday, that made perfect sense. (I will provide proof of this by simply saying that I took an hour and a half walk on Monday and got a heat rash. However, the Yankee Weather Gods clearly got bored, because Wednesday, yesterday, and today were frigid, soaking wet, and miserable. As I just typed that sentence, I am not kidding, there was a clap of thunder. Thanks guys, love you too.) So at the moment I saw "Ginger Crunch Slice", it was actually raw, misty, and cold. And the idea of ginger seemed warming and spicy and maybe not such a bad idea. And I still had caster sugar. And I didn't need ANY eggs. Or cinnamon.

YOU GUYS I CHOSE OPTION C. DID I DIE? WE SHALL SEE. 

GINGER CRUNCH SLICE
(Donna Hay's recipe, with small Beetle tweaks)

INGREDIENTS

• 2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 2 tsp ground ginger
• 1 cup caster sugar
• 250 g cold butter (17 1/2 tbs) 

ginger icing

• 150 g butter, chopped (10 1/2 tbs)
• 1/4 cup golden syrup
• 1 1/2 tbs ground ginger
• 1 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar

Preheat oven to 350F. Place flour, sugar, ginger and baking powder in the bowl of a food processor and pulse to combine. Add butter and process until mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Press into a 20cm x 30cm tin lined with non-stick baking paper. The flour mixture will be quite crumbly when you press it into the tin but it comes together as it cooks and as the butter melts. Bake for 35-40 minutes or until golden and firm to the touch.

To make the ginger icing, place the butter, golden syrup and ginger in a saucepan over medium heat and cook for 2-3 minutes or until the butter is melted. Stir through the icing sugar and pour immediately over the slice. Refrigerate for 1 hour or until the icing is set, slice and serve. 

BEETLE NOTES
I refer you back to my comment of last week re: Rhubarb Raspberry Crumble Slice. These are stupidly easy to make, require very little baking, and can be made without a mixmaster if you simply can't face that pale green Kitchen Aid one more time. Also, the concept of a slice remains a delicious filling sandwiched between two loaves of "bread" made out of butter and sugar. HOW COULD IT GO WRONG? God Bless Australia for having slices as a commonly made confection.

I would like to take this moment to dedicate this Ginger Crunch Slice to Julia Gillard. Julia, some of your policies may have been flawed, but you made great strides for women in Australian politics and stood up to what has to be some of the most rampant, disgusting, and personally vicious sexism I have ever seen. I am very sorry that clearly Australian men can't handle being led by a woman, and rather than accept you as a human being and a colleague they have chosen to denigrate you in a completely petty, vulgar, and infantile manner, and replace you with your predecessor, who, as far as I can tell, counts as his sole accomplishment the fact that he looks even stupider than David Cameron. 

This one's for you, Lady.

For what it's worth, Kevin Rudd sucks. 

Ahem. So I guess when you run out of one spice you run out of them all. I realised halfway through the making of the crust and icing that I was going to be short on ground ginger. (you guys what is happening in my pantry right now?) But when the cooking gets tough, the Beetle gets Warrior. Or, more specifically, when the cooking gets tough, the Beetle gets out the Ginger Preserve.


I used all the ground ginger in the base mixture, bumping it up to 3 tsp, and then for the icing, used 2 tsp of ground ginger (all that was left in the jar), a little less than a 1/4 cup of ginger preserve, and 2 tbs of agave. I figured that all this combined would roughly (ok, very roughly) approximate 1 1/2 tbs ginger and 1/4 cup golden syrup. ALSO KEY was that the ginger preserve has those amazing little nuggets of crystalised ginger in it, which I figured not only couldn't HURT the icing atop the crust, would go as far as ENHANCING IT.

Nuggets of crystalised ginger = nuggets of awesome. 

What happened was a) it totally worked and b) the icing ended up being thicker. Win win, Beetle. 

Suuuuuper thick icing spotted with tiny ginger pieces. 

The dissolving of confectioner's sugar in almost infinite amounts is one of my favourite parts of making icing.
It's like MAGIC. No matter how much you add, it DISAPPEARS. 

And that, dear reader, is that. I shoved it in the fridge for a few hours, and pulled it out when Mum got home to warm up a bit before slicing. It slices like a DREAM which always makes me feel accomplished. I don't know, somehow if it slices cleanly I feel like it can't taste bad? Completely nonsensical but there you go. 

The Beetle Note I have is that when Donna Hay says "crunch" she means crunch. This is probably best eaten like a brownie or bar, aka with your hands. Totally not a problem, you say, that was my plan in the first place. Well if you are fastidious to the point of a Monty Python sketch like Mum, then you will try to eat this with a knife and fork. I had to watch this last night, you guys. It's possible, but difficult. It cuts in a big SMACK as the knife all of a sudden goes through, and if you're trying to watch a new Swedish Crime TV show, it's kind of distracting. I left it out over night to give the base time to dethaw completely, and it's definitely easier to cut through this morning. But just be aware. The Aussies take their crunches seriously, apparently. 

My boyfriend Chris Hemsworth ALSO takes his crunches seriously. 

However, extra thick icing makes everything ok. And there's definitely something to be said for the melding of two different consistencies as well as textures.

See? World Peace. Done. End to Global Warming. Done.
EXTRA THICK ICING FOR EVERYONE.  

Please note the perfect slices.

And again . . . 

So even though I chose Option C, I'm not dead (not yet, anyway). And as I finish this post, the thunder has stopped, the sun is emerging, and the birds are singing. I think, dear reader, that it might be time for Lemon Curd Slices in a day or two.

If I can avoid empty elevator shafts, smugglers, and falling tree limbs until then. Hey, it might happen.

In the meantime, if you haven't seen it yet, watch Julia Gillard DESTROY Tony Abbot (aka Leader of the Opposition aka a butthead sexist pig who still lives in the year 1452) because it is the most amazing thing ever and it made me damn proud to be a woman. A Beetle. But a Woman.